I was reminded the other day of the Japanese concept of nemawashi. I studied this in university and found it fascinating, but soon forgot about it afterwards. Surprisingly enough, I haven't encountered the term before now despite having been here for 9.5 months. Nemawashi is quite hard to translate into English because it's an integral part of Japanese culture more than a concept or word, but it's basically to do with being indirect. Nemawashi is a way to gain group consensus about something without being direct and confrontational. So perhaps instead of asking a group of people straight out 'I think this is a good idea, I want to do this, what do you think?' in which it would be difficult for the various people to say 'no' (and hence they might resent you), you go around to individuals and 'feel it out'. You do this by lightly moving the topic of conversation to the idea and judging the response of each person. If enough people like it you can then tentatively suggest it in the group and already know that the majority or all the people will support it. This avoids embarrassment, resentment and conflict.

The downside of course, is that it can take a long time to make even a fairly simple decision. And the focus would appear to be on total group consensus, something which, in my experience, is fairly rare. People are just too different, I guess. Although that said, maybe it works in Japan because of the group culture and people being inclined to do what is best for the group. If you hear that everyone else wants to support an idea but you don't, you may be influenced to support the group at the expense of your own opinion. Anyway, I think the idea is that if you want something done, you start to gain support from various people quietly, and when you have enough bulk momentum going, you can just politely steamroll your opinion into the group.

The reason I'm talking about all this is that the concept came up in relation to a rather large flame war that is currently going on in the Hyogo JET message boards over a certain issue. One person wrote that the originator of the thread was too heavy handed in their dealings with the Hyogo BoE in relation to the issue, and had therefore ruined any chance of achieving their goals. They suggested that nemawashi should have been used instead. I've found over the years that I'm much closer to a nemawashi kind of person anyway, even before I knew about the concept. I don't like conflict and would generally try to garner individual support before pushing an idea at a meeting etc., for fear of it being rejected. So nemawashi fits with me and I find I actually use it a lot of the time without realising.

Sometimes I'm more stereotypical Western though, and if things appear to be taking too long, I will politely ask what's going on. I was about to do this in relation to joining judo club, which I asked to do about 6 weeks ago. I asked the head teacher, who agreed, and said I'd need to have a judogi made. I said this was fine and he said he'd get it done. After a couple of weeks I was thinking about asking him what was happening when he came by my desk and to confirm my size details and said that I could have my gi made at the same time as the ichi-nensei students, who were just beginning to join clubs. Again a couple of weeks passed and I was about to ask him what was happening when the nemawashi email came through. So I decided to leave it and lo and behold, a few days later, the teacher updated me and let me know that my gi was almost ready and that I would be able to start playing with the club when they started back after mid term exams.

Despite all this, nemawashi is still a very difficult concept for me to grasp. The thing about being Western is that you are often considered uninterested if you don't frequently check in with someone who you have asked for something from. In Japan, doing the same can make you appear rude and aggressive. The other side of the coin, of course, is that in Western countries, it's considered necessary to keep hounding someone for something that you are going to benefit from because people tend to be forgetful, particularly when whatever you have asked them to do doesn't directly benefit them. I don't know how Japan works in this regard, and that's probably the toughest bit. Are Japanese people generally better at remembering to do things they are asked to do? I imagine they would have to be. Nemawashi wouldn't work otherwise. If you need to keep prodding someone to do something, you can't exactly not prod them or nothing will happen! Then, of course, you appear rude, so it's a double edged sword.

I suppose it comes down to the age old question of balancing the different cultures. It's similar to the name example. When a foreigner in Japan introduces themselves, how should they say their name? Should they represent their culture and say "John Smith" or try to fit into Japanese culture by saying "Smith John". And on the other hand, how should a Japanese person assume a Westerner will introduce themselves - in Western fashion or Japanese fashion? And of course, vice versa with how the Japanese person says their name and how the Westerner expects them to say it. You'd think there'd be simple rules like "use the culture of the country you're in", but in a country like Japan where there is just a mountain of interpersonal culture and expected behaviours to learn, it's not always that easy! It's a really difficult issue, because you've got two sides with very different culture both trying to understand, accept and use the other's. So naturally, it gets very confusing!

Overall, anyway, nemawashi is a very interesting concept and exploration of culture, and I love being able to experience and play with it. When it works, anyway, hehe. It's great to actually be directly experiencing it rather than just studying it, too. In fact, it's extremely rewarding. This is the kind of thing that makes my JET experience so valuable, as it's not just great life experience, it's also turning me into a multicultural world citizen. My aim, in the end, is to be able to blend my way into Japanese culture as easily as I can Western culture. Ambitious? Yes, hehe. I haven't spent 24 years growing up in Japan, having appropriate behaviour embedded into me as a child. But I am an intelligent, observant adult and although it'll take a long time, I feel I have learnt a lot already. Not to mention that a lot of the way I learnt to act in Australia actually fits Japan better (quiet, indecisive, conflict avoiding and so on). Good times.